Most often if you write from your heart it comes out raw and it leaves you feeling vulnerable. Day in and day out I worry. I worry about things that you as a person might not have to worry about. And vise versa. I worry about someone who is so close, but as time faded so did our relationship. I worry about their safety and whether or not they’ll continue to travel down the same path that they have traveled on for some time now. I worry whether or not I will get a phone call telling me that they are no longer with us. I love this person for who I once knew, but not for who they are now. It brings me to tears knowing that we can’t go back to the good old days where everything was practically “perfect.” I don’t hide my feelings when in the past I probably would. This is my normal… This is our normal… Dealing with this together. A part of me wants to believe that if I keep fighting and holding on then things will eventually turn out okay. Truth is a huge part of me knows that the chances of that happening is slim so it’s time to let him fly. I believe in second chances and sometimes even third, but it’s coming to his tenth so do I keep fighting or do I simply let go?
I’ll keep fighting because that’s all I know how to do.